Gambler’s Face-Off: Week 9

( . Y . )s and Beer — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 20:36:41 +0000

Derek’s Picks

Boise St -7.5 vs San Jose St

Texas Tech +2.5 vs Kansas

Virginia +11.5 vs Georgia Tech

Pittsburgh -9 vs Rutgers

USC -16 vs Arizona

Justin’s Picks

Ball State -24 vs Eastern Michigan

Penn St -2.5 vs Ohio St

USC -16 vs Arizona

Pittsburgh -9 vs Rutgers

Georgia +2.5 vs LSU

Ashley’s Picks

Kentucky +24.5 vs Florida

Pittsburgh -9 vs Rutgers

Georgia +2.5 vs LSU

Alabama -6.5 vs Tennessee

USC -16 vs Arizona

Penn St -2.5 vs Ohio St

Virginia +11.5 vs Georgia Tech

Kicking Ain’t Easy!

Heel Fan — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 15:50:52 +0000

Texas Tech has had some minor kicking issues this year. They have tried 2 different kickers and they still have missed 6 PAT’s and half of their field goals. I have seen a 9 year old kick a PAT. That shit is pitiful, there should be no excuse for a missed PAT. Field goals can be a little harder but they pay you to go to school and practice nothing but kicking. One or two is fine but half is ridiculous. They should be glad that they have a high powered offense to cover up there sorry ass kicking.

Here comes Matt Williams to save the day. He is the Tarleton State transfer student who won a month of free rent at the Tech/UMass game several weeks ago by kicking a 30-yard field goal at half time. As he was walking off the field he was flagged down and told that Coach Leach wanted to meet with him. After he passed that interview he was told Coach McGuire wanted to meet with him the following Monday. If he accepts he could make his college football debut this weekend against Kansas.

“I’ve seen that guy try one kick,” added Leach. “But the difference between his and the others is that they barely got off the ground. His got up right away.” Take that comment how you want to but I will be watching and hoping he misses everything so Kansas can cover the spread.

Canseco Regrets Writing “Juiced”

( . Y . )s and Beer — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 14:18:05 +0000

Canseco recently had an interview with A&E in which he tried to clear the air with all the players he tattle tailed on over the years in his books. I mean seriously…who really buys this shit? Everyone knows you realized you were a washed up has been and came up with another way to try to make a buck. Even if that meant writing not one book, but 2, to try to give all of your readers the inside scoop on steriod abuse in baseball and the players involved. Here is his direct quote from the interview:

“I should not have written that book,” said Canseco during an A&E Network one-hour documentary aptly titled Jose Canseco: The Last Shot. “The more I think about it the more I regret mentioning these players in my book because I admired them, I respected them.”

I call bullshit! Everyone knows that it probably alienated you from all of your so-called buddies and teammates you had over the years, and now you have realized what you’ve done after the quick million you made with your books. Everyone already knows you’re an over-confident self-indulged sorry sack of shit that has to come up with new ways to make your payments on your new Lamborghini, Ferrari, Porsche, and Bentley before you go bankrupt again (we all remember Surreal Life too). Enjoy your time trying to find your balls at your next routine physical Jose.

Texas A&M Needs Help

( . Y . )s and Beer — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 17:10:19 +0000

Theres been some damn good football going on in the state of Texas here lately, particularly at the quarterback position. Colt McCoy just had a big win against the previously ranked #1 Oklahoma Sooners, and its just in that Graham Harrell just went over 52,000 passing yards for the season. TCU has been a dark horse so far this season and proved their white boys were better that BYU’s white boys this past Thursday night. So what about Texas A&M? Surely in Texas, where football is a religion…where the whole damn town closes on saturdays to go to the game…there is enough support and talent to go around for the Aggies to have at least some success right? Wrong. The season opener was against Arkansas St…Arkansas fuckin State…a team Texas A&M should plow into the ground. Instead, they open with an embarrassing loss at home which alluded to what is to come in the mighty Big 12 conference for them this year. The Aggies and their 12th man fans have been man-handled by teams of late…most notably giving up 56 points to Oklahoma State 2 weeks ago. I could have sworn I heard Aggies coah Mike Sherman yelling “don’t pick on my kids…pick on me. I’m a man, I’m 40!!!” after the loss in College Station.

While the Aggies continue to hear “hook ‘em horns” and “get yer guns up” from those other Texas schools that are wreaking havoc in the Big12 this year, they have to be wondering when things are going to turn around for them. They are currently sitting at 0-2 in conference play, 2-4 overall this season. Their only wins coming against powerhouses New Mexico and Army. Who is going to be able to come in and do some damage to pull them out of the shithole they’re living in right now? I have an answer…

Thats right…none other than Mr. Paul Blake! Heres the good news: He’s been throwing footballs through tires and hitting scarecrows in the numbers since ’88, so you can bet your left nut he’s accurate. Somehow he’s managed to rack up a baker’s dozen of years eligible to play college football, and he still has a few left in the tank. He doesn’t take shit from anyone on the field or off…not even from flat top. He’s durable, and for some reason that seems to only increase with age. He’s been know to take a sack or a right hook to the face and keep on truckin. And despite his skin color, he is in fact a dual threat quarterback.

So here’s what you need to do Mike Sherman…you need to get off your ass, put on some wranglers, rent a Jeep and go out to God’s Country to find Paul Blake. He will most likely resist at first sayin he’s got more import things to do…like pick up cowshit and bail hay. But the secret to pulling him in is this…tell him you have Coach “Straight Arrow” Gennerro’s playbook. Gets him everytime.

Gambler’s Face-Off: Week 8

( . Y . )s and Beer — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 13:30:37 +0000

Ashley joins the pick-em contest 2 weeks late…we thought about making him start 0-10 since he could’nt get anything going for 2 weeks straight, but we’re going to allow him to make 7 picks each week instead of 5 to try and make up some ground.

Derek’s Picks

Pittsburgh -3 vs Navy

Texas -5.5 vs Missouri

Utah -21 vs Colorado St

Wake Forest -2 vs Maryland

Oklahoma St -17 vs Baylor

Justin’s Picks

LSU -2.5 vs South Carolina

Missouri +5.5 vs Texas

Texas Tech -21 vs Texas A&M

Michigan +23.5 vs Penn St

Utah -21 vs Colorado St

Ashley’s Picks

Texas -5.5 vs Missouri

Michigan +23.5 vs Penn St

Pittsburgh -3 vs Navy

Alabama -13 vs Mississippi

Kansas +20.5 vs Oklahoma

North Carolina -4.5 vs Virginia

Vanderbilt +14.5 vs Georgia

What’s Grinding My Gears

ashburns — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 20:24:46 +0000

this is a new post that we are going to try to get out weekly, but me being a slacker you never know so we will take it week to week. just a chance for me to gripe about whatever may be grating on my nerves at the time. you may agree, you may not, and I will accept that. so here we go and let me know what you think.

if nfl players are not classy enough to announce the college they attended during the player introductions, don’t let them talk… or better yet, stop the intros all together. who gives a rat’s ass where morten old man river anderson played college ball, at some point it becomes irrelevant. but if this is a necessary evil please acknowledge the school that gave you an education and allowed you to make the leap to the nfl. show some respect to the loyal college fans that most likely paid for your scholarship and were at every game whether you were played or not. if you did not get much playing time in college, it tells me one of two things, either you were not the best player at that position therefore you did not deserve to be on the field…or you were good enough but did not show your ability. this lets me know its not about the love of the game its about the love of money. these type of people are the reason the country is where it is now.

A New Era In The Valley

ashburns — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 02:52:36 +0000

yesterday I found myself, much like many other tiger fans across the nation, riding high on the news that some head-hunting was going down in tiger town and some long overdue house cleaning was being done. felt like justice… making people answer for the debauchery known as clemson football thus far. finally, things were gonna change and the tides were gonna turn, a good thing. senior qb cullen harper on the recent hiring of the new clemson head coach:

it’s what he deserved. dabo swinney is a fine man and will do an excellent job.

today, reading the newspaper I feel a sense of loss and sentiment for the past. over the last ten years clemson football went hand in hand with tommy bowden, and he represented the school well. he had solid recruiting classes that graduated students and stayed out of trouble off the field. ncaa probation was never associated with the program and his ethics were never questioned. with that we say goodbye to a man that leaves the football program in better shape than he found it, and thats what I’m struggling with. we found this posted on a board this morning and it gave me some closure on a day of change:

“and the lord showed moses the whole land, the promised land, and told him: ‘I will give this land to your descendants, and allow you to see it, but you will not be allowed to cross over into it.’ “

the comparison may be a little extreme, but there’s no denying that tommy bowden brought us to the edge of the promised land… three times in fact. but like the stiff-necked children of Israel we could never cross. we wandered in the desert, missing that one vital turn that would eventually get us where we knew we should be going. now tommy bowden will sit on his own mount nebo and watch as his own joshua leads the tribe. joshua, you may recall, did pretty well rallying the people of israel and finally moving to the promised land. but even as they celebrated and savored their new home, the children never forgot moses. sure, they cussed him for all he was worth in the desert. they bemoaned the wandering, the steady diet of manna. some even wondered if they were better off in the old days. moses got them where they were going. he built a nation from a fractured collection of families and handed them to a young leader who could take their new nation by storm. so as we celebrate the rise of dabo and resume our season with a new found glory and hope, take one last look back at mount nebo. for all our griping and grousing, for all the times we sighed on the journey, a great man watches as we march away.

now the tiger faithful get ready to start fresh… anxiety for the future and bittersweet memories of the past. go tigers!

The Soldier Is Out With Oversized Balls

( . Y . )s and Beer — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 19:07:03 +0000

Kellen Winslow has been sidelined here recently with an “undisclosed injury.” Makes you wonder why they wouldn’t just come out and say what the hell it was…pisses me off because I have him on one of my fantasy teams and his ass needs to be out there if its nothing serious…I mean after all, he is a soldier isn’t he?? According to deadpsin.com, this little undisclosed injury is nothing little at all. Apparently Winslow is suffering from a case of elephantitis of the testes. I’m a little curious how this happens….so I thought of a few options that may have led to this problem:

1. He was teabagging some 2 dollar hooker, she suddenly woke up and saw a familiar sight of balls in her face…decided to fornicate. Disaster sets in for Winslow.

2. On a recent trip back to the U, he tried out one of those senoritas that just got off the boat carrying who knows what with them.

3. Decided to go brokeback with an undisclosed partner and was the pitcher, not the catcher. No doubt the partner was a man in uniform and Winslow kept yelling “I’m a soldier, I’m a soldier, I’m a fuckin soldier!!!”

4. Rubbed pimento cheese and peanut butter all over em for the hell of it after having one too many smirnoffs.

My vote goes to #3

Wanna Wear A Struggle?

( . Y . )s and Beer — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 14:09:25 +0000

Shame-U is a site that has all kinds of awesome shirts to wear on gameday that does the talkin without the talkin. I saw this site after visiting their blog, Michigan Girls are Fat, and was cracking up over some of their shirts. Pretty good stuff, check it out if you wanna talk a little smack on Saturdays.

Here’s some of their shirts…

Dan Orlovsky’s NFL Debut

( . Y . )s and Beer — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 13:35:20 +0000

You’re probably wondering who this man is. Dan Orlovsky, the new starting Detriot Lion’s QB, is the dumbass that got an unforced safety this past Sunday against the Vikings. Look at him…running through the back of the endzone without a care in the world…still looking for that open Lions receiver to get the ball to even after the whistle is blown several times. I’d like to know what was going through the referee’s mind when this happened. If I had to guesstimate I’d say it was something along the lines of “are you fuckin serious kid?” which conincidentally is what came out of my mouth when I saw this replay…and rewound…and rewound…and rewound.

Congratulations Orlovsky, you get this week’s Trojan Endz Boner of the Week Award!