Kellen Winslow has been sidelined here recently with an “undisclosed injury.” Makes you wonder why they wouldn’t just come out and say what the hell it was…pisses me off because I have him on one of my fantasy teams and his ass needs to be out there if its nothing serious…I mean after all, he is a soldier isn’t he?? According to deadpsin.com, this little undisclosed injury is nothing little at all. Apparently Winslow is suffering from a case of elephantitis of the testes. I’m a little curious how this happens….so I thought of a few options that may have led to this problem:
1. He was teabagging some 2 dollar hooker, she suddenly woke up and saw a familiar sight of balls in her face…decided to fornicate. Disaster sets in for Winslow.
2. On a recent trip back to the U, he tried out one of those senoritas that just got off the boat carrying who knows what with them.
3. Decided to go brokeback with an undisclosed partner and was the pitcher, not the catcher. No doubt the partner was a man in uniform and Winslow kept yelling “I’m a soldier, I’m a soldier, I’m a fuckin soldier!!!”
4. Rubbed pimento cheese and peanut butter all over em for the hell of it after having one too many smirnoffs.
My vote goes to #3